I can’t fight this feeling anymore
by Meewuargh on June 28th, 2008
“I can’t fight this feeling any longer
And yet Im still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show”
You know sometimes you feel like you know, but sometimes things just happen without you realizing it.
I had a melancholic ferry ride this morning. Not only because it was 7.48 in the am and it was raining & gloomy, but also because this particular song was playing on my iPod. I love Air Supply. And I didn’t realise the lyrics to this song till this morning.
And it sort of setup my whole day today. I saw things in a different view, a different perspective. Basically today was just a very chilled out perfect Friday. I just hungout with the people I liked most, rocked out & sang out loud to some good old rock tunes and then later took a trip to a waterpark to checkout some wakeboarding.
I didn’t do much but I was happiest with today’s events. I guess it’s finding & realising the littlest things in life that makes you happiest. The most.
Sometimes it’s a turn of event, sometimes it could be just one person.
And sometimes you just refuse, refuse and refuse to accept THAT fact. But sometimes you just can’t fight that feeling anymore.
Love Actually - lovelorn stories of the broken heart
by Meewuargh on June 10th, 2008
(To be read while listening to Fiona Apple’s “Across The Universe” in the background)
#1
He was married to her for 6 years. And then he fell in love with one of his closes friends. It was another man.
So he planned to divorce the wife as he couldn’t live a lie. One night, at a restaurant his wife decided to confront the lover, accusing him of stealing her husband. In the heat of the argument, she hit the male lover. And he hit her back. The husband upon knowing that the wife got hit, pulled her back and hugged her away. The lover was so hurt by the husband’s actions, he felt betrayed that he started hitting him instead. So there was a big brawl.
A police report was lodged at 4am, the lover accusing the wife for assault. The lovers are not on talking terms with each other and their mutual friends are taking sides.
#2
She walked down the escalator full of hope. It’s another new day. Maybe she’ll see him again at the pier. So she waited and kept looking at her watch. It’s 8.45, just 3 more minutes and he’s not here yet. Maybe he’s taking the other ferry today. Maybe.
But then there he was, sauntering in. She felt her heart skipping - a few beats. She wanted to talk to him but she didn’t know if he’ll sit with her just to be nice. She didn’t know if the walking, talking & sharing an umbrella under the rain meant anything to him at all. She’s probably just another colleague to him. But to her, she was the ferry guy. The guy that made her days brighter every morning. She wants to have him, but she can’t.
She wants to love him, but he’s married.
#3
She flew 2500 miles to be with him. She left her family, her friends, her career just to be with the person that she loved. She knew that he loved her back. And she knew that he’d take care of her. All those years of moving across the world and living in various cities just to be together.
But what she didn’t know was that he loved other girls as well. And whenever she wasn’t around he’d be with them. His love was for her that part she was right, but his body was for anyone who was available to him.
He made it a big deal, fought & threatened whenever he thought she was cheating on him. She thought it was because he loves her so much. Maybe that was the reason. Maybe it was only out of guilt.
#4
She tried to love her boyfriend, to look at him, to be with him and to dream of him just like how it was 3 years ago. Back then things were simple - no expectations, no past, no future. But it proved to be harder with each coming day. She was convinced that she still loved him. She still misses him. That she still wants to be with him.
But whenever they spend time together she’d think of his best friend. Of how he’d laugh at her jokes, at how he’d look into her eyes, of how she imagined their bodies pressing against each other under the dimmed hotel room lights.
She doesn’t know if she’s in love with his best friend. She doesn’t know if the best friend will ever find out. But the boyfriend knew, he knew how they felt for each other even before they both realized it themselves.
The universe is listening
by Meewuargh on May 21st, 2008
I made a wish & the universe was listening.
Today was a wet & cold morning. I walked down the stairs from my apartment with an umbrella. As I reached downstairs I realised it was broken. So I walked in the rain & stepped onto the escalator wondering why of all times my umbrella is broken.
As I reached the ferry terminal and waited for the ferry I wished that he would walk in and sit beside me throughout the ferry ride. And he’d walk me to the office under his umbrella in the rain.
Wouldn’t that be romantic
and oh-so perfect?
But it was so stupid to even wish for something so dreamy.
And guess what? 5 minutes later he walked in. My heart felt like it was gonna drop. This was like so unreal coz I haven’t seen him at the ferry pier since a few weeks ago. We sat in the ferry talking & the journey felt too soon before we reached our destination.
I realised he had an umbrella. And he held it above us as we walked under the rain. To the office.
And it was sweet
and oh-so perfect.
So everything happened the way I wished for it to be. It was so surreal.
I was so happy.
Thank you.
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